


Never Have I Ever

by kittenhyvnjin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Porn With Plot, Realization, Size Difference, felix has a tiny dick, straight boys are not quite so straight, then chris jerks off thinking about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:42:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenhyvnjin/pseuds/kittenhyvnjin
Summary: A game of Never Have I Ever devolves into two straight boys discovering they might not be so straight after all
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 12
Kudos: 237





	1. It’s Not the Same as Kissing Girls

“Never have I ever... kissed a girl with a tongue piercing.”

“That’s so specific!” Chris giggles, “Nah mate, I haven’t.”

“Your turn then.” 

“Hmm... Never have I ever... kissed a guy.” Chris giggles again but Felix isn’t laughing. 

Felix folds his finger.

“Wait— really?”

“Uh, it was a dare,” he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “Doesn’t really count.”

Felix studies his own crossed legs on the couch, averting Chris’s judging gaze, “Never have I ever wanted to kiss a guy.” 

Chris folds his finger, leaving only one left.

“Who... did you... wanna kiss?” He feels silly, like a kid asking about school crushes.

Chris laughs, “You. Just now.”

“Shut up.” Heat rushes to Felix’s face. He rolls his eyes and punches him in the arm, “You’re kidding.”

Chris tilts his head and smiles, “Wouldn’t it be funny?” he says without an ounce of confidence, “If we kissed I’ll have to fold a finger. You’d win.” Chris waggles his remaining index finger.

Felix chuckles, not yet sure if he’s joking. Either way he can’t help but imagine the older guy leaning in to kiss him. Chris has really kissable lips, he thought. Not that he’d thought about it before. Well, maybe he had. But he’s comfortable enough with himself to recognize another man’s attributes. His soft, plump attributes.

“My eyes are up here, mate.”

Felix had been staring. He shakes his head. He wants to say ‘ha ha, very funny’, to leave and forget this ever came up. But something keeps him planted right there. Sitting face to face with his bandmate nervously eyeing up his lips.

Chris wasn’t joking. He wanted to be able to hide under that guise. But he meant it. He really wanted to kiss this dude. And he didn’t know why. He’d never thought about him this way before. Yet the moment Felix said he kissed another boy, he wished that boy was him.

Chris scoots closer to Felix; close enough to count every freckle. Chris’s cologne is suddenly overpowering Felix’s senses and all he can do is look up at him like an idiot. He doesn’t know the last time their faces were this close. His heart thumps in his chest like it’ll burst. It wasn’t like this when Felix kissed that guy for a dare. That wasn’t a big deal. He wasn’t nervous then, he shouldn’t be nervous now. This should be the same thing, he thinks. But Chris, looking at him like he wants to devour him whole, isn’t the same thing.

Felix places his hands on the other’s knees, “Fuck it,” he mutters, “Can I kiss you?” 

Chris responds by grabbing hold of Felix’s jaw and kissing him harshly. He melts into the feeling and drapes his arms over Chris’s shoulders. It’s not the same as kissing girls. It is; but it isn’t. The kiss itself, is. Lips are lips and tongues are tongues. The groans, the smell of aftershave, trailing hands over another man’s shoulders and down his toned back— that’s different.

Chris retreats for air, but as soon as he exhales he’s in Felix’s grasp. One hand in his hair and the other on his neck; it feels like he could snap it. Chris navigates his hands to Felix’s hips. A familiar motion, unfamiliarly leading him to the waistband of the boy’s boxers.

Years of built-up Catholic guilt spill over and flood Felix’s thoughts. It shouldn’t feel so good. He shouldn’t have done it the one time, let alone twice. Now even the shame can’t stop him from craving his friend’s touch. He needs it, God forbid.

There’s no love in this, it’s an outpouring of frustration and desperation.  Chris finds himself focusing on the texture of his friend’s tongue, the shape of his teeth, the taste of his saliva, the warmth in between them. He tries to memorize it all.

Chris shifts his knee and accidentally brushes the other boy’s crotch. He feels something thick and his mind short circuits. Felix is hard. From kissing him. Before he knows it, blood rushes to his own erection. A pit in his stomach forms and a part of him wants to run away. But Felix has his mouth on his tongue like a vice and he can’t find it within himself to escape. Chris shifts on top of Felix’s legs and gives in to the intoxicating rhythm, involuntarily bucking his hips. 

Felix withdraws, a string of saliva following him, “Did I win?”


	2. Cumming and Confused

It was all because of that stupid game. If they hadn’t played Never Have I Ever, if Chris hadn’t said he’d never kissed a guy, if Felix hadn’t said he had, Chris wouldn’t be lying in bed right now wishing Felix was there next to him.

Chris is straight. That’s what he’s believed his whole life, he has to be. Fooling around with Felix doesn’t make him gay. He’s straight too! It was just for the game, it didn’t mean anything. Swapping spit with Felix, caressing his form, getting hard from it, meant nothing.

He’s trying to convince himself of that, anyway. His body says otherwise. He can feel the blood flowing downwards and the memories of Felix cascade his mind like a tsunami. The smell of the boy’s shower gel, the peach fuzz on his cheeks. Soon enough there’s a tent in Chris’s bedsheets.

He revisits the encounter. Felix’s delicate hands then placed on his neck, soft lips trapping his tongue. Now he wishes they were wrapped around something else. 

Head spinning, he reaches under the covers and feels himself through his briefs. God, he’s rock hard. He winces, ashamed and confused. He takes his cock in hand and strokes languidly. His other hand lifts his shirt and gropes absentmindedly. Chris’s arousal is unreal. Felix, his friend and bandmate— a dude! He can’t believe he made him feel this good.

Thoughts dance through his head. The weight of Felix sitting on top of him, the erection he’d accidentally felt before now resting atop his. He recalls it not feeling very big. At least compared to his own, it’d be smaller. He dreams of pumping their cocks together, admiring the size difference. Precum from Felix’s pink cock leaking onto his. Fuck, that shouldn’t be so cute. Felix would make such lovely sounds, he bets. Growls from the recording booth take on a new context in his mind. 

An image of Felix between his legs engulfs him. The head of his cock sliding between the satin lips of his bandmate. The boy leaving kisses up and down the shaft. Innocent eyes looking up at him through tousled hair as he takes him in, gagging on the unfamiliarity. He curses his hand for not being Felix’s warm throat. 

He’s so close to the edge. He can’t even hear himself over his overwhelming pleasure, he’s so far gone. Without realizing how he got there, he sees Felix’s pouting face covered in his cum. His freckles decorated in white. To soil such a pretty face like that brings him over the edge. He sees static and his whole body tenses up. He spills onto his abs and hears an animalistic groan that must’ve come from himself. 

He lies there, breathing heavy, eyes shut tight. Fuck. That was pretty gay wasn’t it?


	3. No Homo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spoiler: they fuck

Chris’s hand hovers on the doorknob to his room. He thumps his head softly against the wall and slumps there. They can’t keep avoiding what happened between them forever. He worries he’ll only make it worse by bringing it up. Maybe it’d be best to try and forget everything entirely. No, that’s stupid. Nothing will change without talking it out like adul—

His train of thought is promptly interrupted by a knocking on the door inches from his ear.

“Fucking shi— Ugh, come in,“ the door swings open to reveal a wide-eyed Felix standing in the doorway. 

“Sorry, bro. Did I scare you?”

“A little bit yeah!” He rubs at his ears.

“Sorry,” Felix looks him up and down, “I just wanted to talk to you. About what happened. Y’know.”

Well, he doesn’t seem mad. So Chris jots that down as a good sign, “I was right about to go talk to you, actually.”

“Oh yeah?”

Chris nods, “Shut the door.”

Felix steps into the room he’s been in countless times like it’s another world. He half expected the door to be slammed in his face. To his surprise, Chris plops down on his bed and pats at a spot for Felix to sit next to him. He sits cautiously, keeping some distance between them. 

“I—“

“So—“

“You first,” Chris’s nervous giggle makes an appearance.

Felix hits at his own thigh, trying to force the words out of his mouth, “Agh, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“Me too.”

The words come out faintly but Felix hears them, absorbs them with every particle of his being. His eyes avoid Chris’s yet again. It’s easier to be honest if he can pretend he’s talking to himself, “I want to do it again.” 

Adrenaline surges through Chris’s veins. He can’t believe his own ears, “Do what?”

“I can’t say it,” the boy’s face burns under Chris’s unwavering eyes, which he can’t help but notice are fixated on his lips. 

“Shall I then?” Chris closes the gap in between them. He shocks himself with his confidence. The selfishness of desire can do wondrous things, he thinks.

“All I’ve been thinking about lately is what I want to do with you,” he cages one of Felix’s thighs with his own. Chris rests his hand on the boy’s neck, thumb toying with his earlobe, “I want to kiss you, Lix. Touch you, make you feel good.”

Felix stares at him, stunned stupid.

“I know, I can’t believe I’m saying it either,” Chris laughs again. 

Felix’s stress starts to dissolve away. He hasn’t had a good night’s sleep since the ‘incident.’ He’d tried ignore his unignorable feelings, avoided Chris at all costs, rehearsed how he’d inevitably apologize. Not in any of the thousands of scenarios his worries had cooked up, did he feel this safe. He’s so at ease under Chris’s touch. It’s something about the way Chris holds him like he’d break if he squeezed too hard. He’s not used to being the one protected in a relationship. Felix wants to protect him too. 

He tilts his head up and connects his lips with the other man’s. They’ve both been craving this, craving each other. Felix twists around and lays down on the bed, pulling Chris down with him. Chris tentatively slips a hand under his shirt, “...Can I?”

Felix’s hair bounces as he nods and moans something of a yes into Chris’s mouth. His hands dance gently on Felix’s abs, feeling every curve and muscle. He earns a yelp and a spasm from the boy for lightly pinching one of his nipples. Felix pushes him away and pouts up at him before stripping his shirt off. Chris follows suit and leans back in to continue kissing him. 

Felix feels so tiny under him. They’re the same height yet Chris is so much broader and bigger than him; he could choke him out with his biceps if he wanted to. His hands look so small feeling up Chris’s chest. He thinks it’s adorable. Oh no, he thinks he’s adorable. The reality of what he’s doing hits him and he pulls away from Felix. Discomfort is painted on Chris’s face like a flashy ad on a shop window.

”Do you not wanna do this?”

“No— it’s just...” Chris can’t find the words to express just how much he really wants to do this and concurrently how much he hates that he really wants to do this.

Felix raises an eyebrow, “Does it feel good?”

“Yes?” Chris squeaks out.

“Then why do you feel bad about it feeling good?”

“Oi, I thought Mr. Catholic School here would feel more guilty about this than me.”

Felix laughs, “I’ll repent later,” he grabs Chris by the back his head and pulls him back down to shut him up with a kiss before he can object. Chris decides to just shut his brain off and enjoy himself. He palms at a still soft Felix through his jeans. He humps into it and grasps at Chris in return. The thick fabric is so stifling, he wants to feel more. Chris fumbles with his belt and frees himself of his jeans. 

“Can I?” Chris asks again.

Felix smiles wide and nods, “You’re too nice.”

“Do you want me to be mean cuz?”

Felix just laughs and undoes his fly. Twisting his hips, he helps Chris disrobe him. They eye up each other’s forms. It’s not that they haven’t seen each other half naked before, it’s bound to happen, but this is different. They’re half naked for each other and each other only. It sends butterflies through Felix’s stomach. Chris reaches to touch at the other boy through his boxers. Felix whines at the touch. It’s a much thinner fabric, Chris can feel the entirety of Felix’s length and balls.

“Okay. I won’t ask this time,” Chris pulls down Felix’s underwear and his dick bounces out. Its cuter than he imagined. No bigger than his hand and tip pink as it’s owner’s lips. He takes it in his hand and rubs his thumb along the tip. Felix squirms, eyes shut. He feels he might go dizzy. 

“It’s good, yeah?” He smiles down at him.

“Smug prick.”

Chris shimmies Felix’s boxers off of him. It doesn’t take much more fondling before he’s fully hard. Chris spreads the boy’s legs further apart and takes his place between them.

“Wait—“ Felix’s eyes shoot open.

“Mm?”

The sight of his leader in between his thighs with his cock in his hand hits him like a freight train, “Fuck,” His voice cracks. He stares up at the slats on the bunk bed above him, “Nevermind.”

Chris smiles and plants a kiss on Felix’s shaft. He’s nervous to go further. Stroking a dick? No big deal, he does that to himself all the time. Sucking dick? That’s completely new to him. He takes a second to think about it and settles on trying to replicate what he likes for girls to do to him. He grabs the base firmly and pops the tip in his mouth. Suckling on it he admires Felix’s groans. He recognizes some of the key sounds from when they’d played video games together. The connection sends a stir to his own cock and he’s made painfully aware of how hard he is against his briefs. He shoves a hand in his underwear and growls around Felix’s dick. Felix writhes from the vibration. He sinks down to take the entire length of him. Which, is less of a challenge than he expected. 

Felix has barely been able to look at Chris in fear he’ll blow his load at the sight. Chris swallows around him and he bucks violently. The older man gags but he doesn’t stop. Felix feels as if he’s purposefully trying to torture him. He’s so gone, he feels everything at once. He can’t discern exactly what the other’sdoing anymore, he just knows it feels good. Chris, fully enveloping him, swallows once more and Felix sees white.

“‘M gonn—“ He cuts himself off with a painful moan. Warm liquid fills Chris’s mouth and he blinks up at the boy it’s coming from. His face is angelically contorted, gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles are white. He tries to soak in every part of him so he won’t forget an inch.

Chris pulls off of Felix and holds his cum in his mouth for a moment, deciding to swallow out of curiosity. Another man’s cum isn’t something he thought he’d ever taste— let alone Felix’s. He lifts himself up and kneels in between Felix’s legs, jerking off over him. The wrecked boy peers at him hazily through his eyelashes. That look is enough to take him to his breaking point. Shaky, he covers Felix’s chest in his cum. He groans from the pit of his stomach through his high. Chris collapses forward, bracing himself with his hands on either side of Felix. The boy under him sputters as a drop of sweat falls onto his face.

“Sorry,” Chris manages, breathing heavily.

“Could be worse. I could’ve just swallowed a dude’s cum.” 

Chris smiles weakly, “Don’t act like you wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t!” He giggles, shaking his head in protest.

Chris leans down to give him one last kiss before rolling over next to him. A silence lingers in the air as they stare into space. Chris turns his head to look at Felix, who rolls over to lock eyes with him, “So, no homo right?”

“You are unbelievable.” Felix snickers and turns back over to hop out of bed, “Yeah, I’m gonna go wash your cum off me. No homo, bro.” 

**Author's Note:**

> talk 2 me :) @kittenhyvnjin


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